$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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