I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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