Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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