Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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