Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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