Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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