I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
oh god the rape fog is back!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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