Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
