trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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