Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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