I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
