She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
