we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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