Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
