She said her name was "party"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
