You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
This baby is an asshole
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
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