i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
