He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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