it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Can you repeat that, but with context?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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