Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
did i walk over a car last night?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
