p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
