What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
