I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
