Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
