I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
