You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
