i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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