i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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