bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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