He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
