Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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