Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
