Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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