I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
