some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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