hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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