I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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