i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.