everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.