Its about making memories worth repressing
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day