You work out of a Hotel?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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