But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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