He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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