I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
