I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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