I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
