Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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