I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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