we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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