yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
God, I missed his penis.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
