We're like a lot better than the average bears
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize