2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
