SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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