you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
