I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
