Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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