i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
