Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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