I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
This couple is walking their pig around campus
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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