Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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