this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
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I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
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At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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