She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize