why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
