I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
