About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
