Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
it was like eating out sand paper
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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